Just Listen

Reviewed by: Coach Hughes

This is an area of my life where that I am really trying to improve. Listening is not something that comes naturally to so many. I have learned that if you can keep active listening at the forefront of your mind, you will get better at it. A great book that I highly recommend for all types of people is by author Mark Goulston, titled "Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone." It will be a valuable addition to your success library. Here are eight takeaways I gathered from the author. Hopefully, a podcast interview will be on the horizon.

Listen with Intention

1. The Importance of Active Listening: The central message of the book is that the key to connecting with and influencing others lies not in talking, but in listening—deeply. Goulston emphasizes that most people feel unheard, so the ability to truly listen is a powerful skill for leaders and anyone who wants to have meaningful relationships.

2. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond: Pay attention to how you listen. Many people listen with the intent of formulating their next response rather than fully understanding the other person’s perspective. Do your best to set aside your own agendas and give the speaker your undivided attention. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Listening is not waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can."

3. Listen with Empathy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Take a moment to reflect what you heard and consider what and how it was said. Empathic listening helps build trust and makes the speaker feel genuinely heard.

4. Recognize and Defuse Emotional Hijacks: I love this concept! Research shows that when individuals become emotionally upset, they may enter a state of "emotional hijack," where rational thinking is compromised. Goulston provides techniques to calm the other person down to facilitate a productive conversation.

Listen wit Intention

5. Ask Insightful Questions: Try to guide the conversation with thoughtful questions that demonstrate understanding, using "what" and "how" questions.

6. Pay Attention to Your Tone and Body Language: The way you speak and present yourself impacts how your message is received. Be sure to maintain a calm, open, and approachable demeanor.

7. Reframe Negative Situations: When someone is being difficult or resistant, try to reframe the situation in a more positive light. This can help diffuse tension and make the other person more receptive. Aim for a conversation rather than an argument.

8. Be Patient and Persistent: This can be challenging, especially during difficult conversations. Focus on listening and continuing to build rapport, even in tough situations.

Throughout the book, Goulston tells compelling stories and uses numerous real-world examples and practical strategies to help readers master the art of listening. The goal is to develop the skills to connect with anyone, even in the most challenging conversations.

The key any great conversation is listening.

Just Listen  @ AMAZON