What Every BODY is Saying
In "What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People," former FBI profiler Joe Navarro provides numerous real-world examples and practical exercises to help readers improve their ability to interpret nonverbal behaviors. The book is a valuable resource for enhancing interpersonal skills in all areas of life, both personal and professional. This is a great book for better understanding "Body Language" in in-person communication, either one-on-one or with a group. Here are some keyTakeaways:
1. Develop a Baseline: This is prior to communicating, where you can observe a person's baseline behaviors and/or mannerisms. What are they doing when they don't think you're watching? When possible, try to make people as comfortable and relaxed as possible so you can detect any changes during and after the communication.
2. Look for Clusters of "Tells": Navarro emphasizes the importance of identifying what he calls "clusters." These clusters are groups of nonverbal behaviors that occur together. He asserts that single gestures or expressions do not provide a fair or reliable indicator of a person's comprehension—are they getting it or not?
It's important not to make a judgment based on seeing or hearing something of a single gesture or from only meeting them once. Try and observe as many gestures or physical cues as possible.
3. Recognize Pacifying Behaviors: (Listen with your eyes.): While we all have similar behaviors, it is crucial to remember that when stimulated, each person will exhibit behaviors specific to their personality. Certain self-touching or self-soothing gestures, such as hair-playing or nail-biting, can signal that a person feels anxious, uncomfortable, or trying to pacify themselves. Navarro spends time in his book on differences in non-verbal communication between men and women. Men and women have unique and different tendencies when communicating.
4. Identifying Mirroring and Mirroring Breaks: People often unconsciously mimic the body language of those with whom they feel connected. When people are stressed, anxious, nervous, or excited, they listen differently than when relaxed. Information can get diluted or misinterpreted. Sudden breaks in this mirroring pattern can also reveal changes in someone's emotional state.
Learn to listen more with you eyes.
5. Understand the Role of Barriers: It's not always possible to have people relaxed or comfortable in every communication situation. Sometimes, circumstances can be stressful. In such cases, Navarro advises us to pay attention to the physical barriers, such as objects or physical spaces that we or the listener use during communication. This could include using a higher or lower chair, having a table or desk in between, personal body space and closeness to each other, and or crossing arms or legs. There are many "barriers" in communication created by both the sender and receiver that, when noticed, can indicate the level of openness or defensiveness.
One of my favorite examples that Navarro uses to illustrate the significance of nonverbal communication involves someone walking down the street with a large dog on a leash. Many people would feel uneasy about this, but Navarro explains how the way the leash is held reveals who is in control. If the leash is loose, the owner is in more control, but if it's tight, the dog is in control, and you might NOT want to approach. Interesting, right?