Finding Peace: The Journey from Chaos to Presence
Sometimes, we find ourselves spending our time running away or chasing something. We look back, we look forward, searching for solutions, until, eventually, we lose sense of the direction we are going. Our search turns into a tornado of chaos, where the pieces of our lives seem out of our control and up in the air.
Running From… Maybe we are ‘running’ away from a bad job, a bad boss, or a dysfunctional relationship. While we are not literally running, we ‘run away’ simply by ‘checking out’, and not being 100% present because we carry around our past like a suitcase with a tether around our wrist. We hold on to anger, shame, pity, pain, and suffering from our past. We can become so focused on our past circumstances; it can consume and burden us. We try and escape from it, sometimes without dealing with it. We seek our salvation from others. Ultimately, our ‘running away’’ turns into a chase. The chase for something new, something better, something more deserving, but it always seems to be just out of arms reach. The tether is holding you back. Running To… Then, there are those of us, who can be consumed with the idea that happiness is just around the corner. That our happiness and feeling we are enough, will be found in that next job, a relationship, a new location. Or worse, we rely on unhealthy “solutions”, to make us happy. Yet, it is a false sense of happiness and peace found at the bottom of a bottle or the next bag. Just another way to mask the feelings we have, providing no real answers. You, like me, may have said one of these statements to yourself or others: “If I just found something, someone, or some place where I was loved or accepted, then I would be happy.” Or how about this one, ”If my boss/coworker wasn’t such a jerk, I could do my job. “ And of course, "If someone cared about me, my life would be better.” We chase and seek out acceptance, love, respect, and acknowledgement from others. Who can blame us? It is human nature. By the way, it is okay to want and have ALL of these things. Yet, in order to find happiness, one has to acknowledge themself, and give oneself the love and respect he/she deserves. Thinking it may not be as easy as it sounds? Read on. Where, when, and how do you start to find that happiness? Right here…Right now…Today. We have been taught to find answers from others, or by application (doing), observation (seeing), direction and advice (listening), books (reading), and even the internet (searching). All valuable and viable advice, but when it comes to acceptance and happiness, our answers, the solution, our next big thing, comes from within ourselves. The reality is a new job, relationship, location, or even a financial infusion will not solve your problems, if you have not looked within yourself first. Looking within and nurturing your self-awareness is what being present is all about. It is about being mindful of who you are, and accepting yourself for who you are- today. Too often, we let our shame of the past and fear of the future, cloud our judgement of who we are- today. “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you - are – and change the ending.”- C.S. Lewis BE PRESENT. We all need to STOP, BREATHE & BE PRESENT. By being present, we are silencing the 'voices' and feelings of our past and our future. We are tuning ourselves into the here and now. A good strategy to try to help yourself 'be present' is to use your 5 senses. In any order, observe and think about 2 or 3 things you hear, see, feel, taste, and/or smell. Can you hear the clock ticking, water dripping, cat purring? Focus on something you see. Is there a pattern, a shine, a dullness, color, a shape? What textures do you feel with your hands, feet, whole body? Is there a taste in your mouth, or maybe in the air? Is there a scent or possibly an odor you can smell? That cup of coffee, cold iced tea, a perfume or candle? The possiblities are endless. Using your senses in this exercise, can help you become grounded, focused, calm, and present. Try this exercise throughout the day. It is also fun to try it with others! Others may find it helpful, to do breathing exercises. Close your eyes. Breathe deep in through your nose, out through your mouth. With your eyes closed, allow the darkness or create a peaceful image in your mind. Feel and hear the breath in your throat, as you breathe in and out. Repeat at least 10 times. Think of a short mantra (saying) and repeat silently with each breath. STOP, BREATHE & BE PRESENT. It is okay to stop running.
